Ways Harry Could Have Died
by al pal 18
Summary: All the ways Harry could have died, but didn't. Just for humor and fun.
1. Chapter 1

**Al Pal: This a collab between my sister and I.**

**A Small Voice: Hi! This is our first fanfic, posted on at least.**

**Al Pal: We do not own Harry Potter: the books or the movies. They belong to JK Rowling**

**A Small Voice: If we owned them, then I would have my Pottermore email by now. Hello! Almost October! Grrr.**

**Al Pal: Calm down smallie who is bigger than me. The doctor says not for long though.**

**A Small Voice: I'll enjoy my obvious tallerness for as long as that will take shortie. For those who are still reading, feel free to laugh. I did the notes for this one. **

**Al Pal: We added a couple things and some events count as multiple for fun so do not yell at us.**

**A Small Voice: On with the story. :D**

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

1. Starvation/Beatation at Dursleys'

Spoilee Dudley and Spoiler Parents no like Harry and often don't give him really anything. This could have resulted in his death ages ago.

2. Stalkeration by Hagrid (driving Dursleys nuts)

Letters. Letters. Everywhere! Mr Dursley freaks out and drags the whole family all over. And Dudley gets a free tail!

3. Crowd Control

-Oh My God! It's Harry Potter! Everybody loves Harry, right? He's so famous, but that crowd could very easily have crushed him. Overzealous fans. :D

4. Quidditch/ "Learning to Fly"

He easily could have crashed. 'nough said.

5. Halloween Troll

Must there be a comment? It's a giant twenty foot or taller mountain troll that smells really bad and attacks a bunch of unexperienced kids! What cement for friendship? Well, seeing as Hermoine easily could've been dead if she'd been left alone with it for any longer.

6. Baby Dragon

Ron got a bite. It could have been Harry. And any of them could have burned up. Just something to think about for later Hagrid.

7. Forbidden Forest Detention

Malfoy, you're such a wimp. (Al Pal's call)

8-9. Three Headed Dog

Twice it almost gobbled them up. Nom nom nom. No more Harry Potter. Thanks Hagrid.

10. Devil's Snare

Then, make a fire!

There's no wood!

Are you a witch or not, Hermoine?

Best. Line. In. Book. One.

11. Flying Keys

Let's all fly at Harry. What would've happened if they hadn't gotten the door closed in time? Hmm. That's hundreds of impacts, and if one sharp object can kill someone...

12. Giant Chess

One wrong move...

13. Potions Riddle

Take this bottle, and you will die. Take that bottle, and you will die slower. Take those bottles and nothing happens. Take that bottle and you go back. Take this one and you go forward. Take this one.

14. Death by Quirrel/Voldemort

!

**A Small Voice: If you think of any more, please let us know and we'll include them in the next chapter which will be Book Two.**

**Al Pal: There's book one for ya! Hope you enjoyed it.**

**A Small Voice: Review, Fave, Alert. Do whatever you want to. Please don't be anonymous. We like all people.**

**Al Pal: And we're not terrified of flames. : D I don't even know what that means. **

**A Small Voice: Till next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry potter and the Chamber of secrets**

Al Pal 18: Hey All! I wanted to say sorry for the pysch-out on tuesday. I was just trying to figure out how to add a chapter and i didn't mean to send it.

A Small Voice: We are not JK Rowling meaning we do not own Harry Potter. If we did, I would have my POTTERMORE email by now! Seriously? One week until General Admission in October. Please send me my email. 2 months is too long.

Al Pal 18: We would like to dedicate this chapter to Ravenian, our first ever alert! We'd also like to thank everyone else who faved, reviewed, and alerted this story.

A Small Voice: Enjoy our list. Al Pal's turn for comments. Well, most of them.

out of fear

All he said was, "You forgot to say the magic word." Really? Are the Dursleys _that _stupid?

out of anger

Dobby, this is all your fault!

out of flying car(twice)

Hey Ron, did you forget something…like LOCKING THE DOORS?

by crowd

blah..blah...blah...lockhart...blah...blah...blah

by books

Arthur Weasley vs. Lucius Malfoy in a book store…nice

the barrier too hard

Another Dobby caused disaster

by whomping willow

Does Ron ever have a permit?

by Howler(just Ron and Ginny)

"oh Ginny, congratulations on getting in to Gryffindor, Daddy and I are so proud of you"

Pixies

Why is it always me? (Neville)

by Oliver wood

Wood stops at nothing. Except Chocolate.

by rouge bludger.

DOBBY!

Club

ONLY to disarm… Malfoy can't follow directions.

by Aragog's family

Follow the spiders. Why couldn't it be follow the butterflies? They wouldn't have likely tried to eat us.

the passage caved in

Obliviate! BOOM! Wow it really is a powerful memory swipe. Too bad it backfired. Oh, I mean, too _good_ it backfired.

Riddle

Tom Marvolo Riddle. Who names a kid that?

"Tom Riddle hides his snake inside his ginormous secret chamber"- Harry potter in 99 seconds by Paint (YouTube)

Malfoy

How dare you free my slave?

Al Pal 18: So here you go. That's chapter 2.

A Small Voice: So go on. And review. (That rhymed) :D

Al Pal 18: Make sure to look up "Harry potter in 99 seconds" on youtube

A Small Voice: If you haven't seen it yet, don't worry. I haven't either. But Al Pal says its good. We, naturally, don't own it. If we did, I would have seen it, :)

Al Pal 18:Suggestions are very welcome for the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi all you people! So first off I DO NOT OWN J.K. ROWLING, HP, OR THE BOOKS. Also, A small voice decided to quit so i'm going to take over this fanfic. Sorry its been so long since we updated but I'll post more often now.**

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><p><span>Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban<span>

1. The monster book of monsters

Really, Hagrid? you just... you need to learn... ugh, who am i kidding? Classic Hagrid

(3 times)

's kiss

Who wants a kiss?

3. Exploding of anger

Nobody insults Harry's mom and gets away with it! NO ONE! guess this means you're not going to hogsmead :)

4. Suffocated by Aunt Marge

Who likes hot air ballons?

5. Run over by the night bus

Watch it Ernie!

6. Broken neck on the night bus

Splat!

7. Mangled by Crookshanks

Crookshanks? What kind of stupid name is that?

8. Stomped on by Buckbeak

Hagrid! You killed Harry Potter with your Hippogriff!

9. head explodes from Fat Lady's singing/screaming

Mr. Potter, if your head is going to explode please do it somewhere else.

10 Die falling off of his broom.

Dementors, i would get your butts(if you have them) out of there cause Dumbledore is pissed.

11. killed by Sirius Black

SIRIUS BLACK...SIRIUS BLACK...ooh, checkmate...SIRIUS BLACK -Snape , avps

fright at Trelawney's Prediction

"He will return tonight..." (in harry's head: "God, this lady is crazy"

by Whomping Willow

All you have to do is prod the knot. Couldn't someone have said something EARLIER.

Shrieking Shack caving in

CHAIN REACTION! harry,ron, and hermione get is injured so he cant go anywhere and is found and sent to azkaban again. harry never got to learn that sirius was framed. sad story.

15. killedby Peter Pettigrew

SCABBERS! NO WONDER YOU'RE SO OLD AND ARE ST_LL ALIVE!_ YOU'RE A TRAITOR!

16. Killed by Lupin (werewolf form)

this completly changes the trio's outlook on lupin

's kiss. again

Don't worry harry, sirius has trouble telling you from james too.

off buckbeak

im really just blank here. sorry bout that.

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><p><strong>i hope you enjoyed. il post book 4 soon. Happy new year! By the way sometime in the next couple months i may launch a fanfiction called "Not the only one" about two kids named lance and kallie who both have families who were killed by death eaters and go to school in harry's 5th year. lance is in griffindor in his 5th year and kallie is a 4th year in hufflepuff. im doing it with someone else through a website called mugglespace and we've barely been able to contact each other latly so i might wait until we start meeting more often because we only hsve a coupple chapters so far and i want to update constantly so you dont go months without an update. ;) bye. WAIT! one last thing. i apologize for the messed up text in some places above. i tried but i cant fix them. ff wont let me for some reason. "'s" is supposed to say dementor's by the way.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey** **everyone. How are you guys? (and gals (-:) Here's the next chapter of my fanfic: Harry potter and the goblet of fire! BTW I have to admit i did a horrible job on the comments so sorry about that. enjoy! I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! Sorry about those of you who got this update message three times+ i had to add some stuff to it beause of this thing congress is doing so if i don't say a disclaimer in EVERY chapter i could lose the story and i originally did not have a disclaimer so i had to change it. ok? on with the story.**

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><p>Harry potter and the goblet of fire:<p>

1. Killed by a death eater

You know it's going to happen…

2. Blast-ended skrewts

"Guess what? Last night-"BANG!

up by a Hungarian Horntail

A 2000 degree pillar of fire? Oh, that's nothing. It will only kill me…..

4. Falling off broomstick

So…. He caught the egg but still died. Sad story

5. Drowning

Gillyweed. Yeah, uh-huh, that's a great idea, why not use the stuff that killed Harry Potter?

6. Stabbed by mermaid or merman's spear.

"Only one" Apparently that applies to both hostages and how many people the merpeople always kill.

7. Attacked by Barty Crouch (under imperious curse)

Harry and Krum vs. Barty. Hmmm let's just say Krum would be framed. For a start.

by giant spider

Maybe the spinx should have said the answer waws a warning. "spider! That's it!" 5 minutes later, "SPIDER!"

by Voldemort

The beginning of many fights. Well you might as well get used to it.

by Barty Crouch jr.

Dumbledore _did _tell you to stay Harry

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><p><strong>Well, there's the 4th chapter. sort of short though. Again, there are some typos would not let me fix so bascially im missing a few numbers and add Well, My best wishes. add 'burned' to the front of number 3(even though there is no number)<strong>

**~al pal 18 :) **


	5. Chapter 5

Hi there! I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! Well, this is a short chapter so I don't really know what to say…Oh well, Enjoy!

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><p>Ways Harry Could have died: Chapter 5<p>

1) Dementor's Kiss

Expelled? DESTROY MY WAND? NO WAND=NO HARRY! AHHHHH!

2) Smashed by Grawp

Believe it Hermione. Believe it. If you don't we'll put you in his food bowl and then you'll believe it.

3) Taken captive by Centaurs

Foals? Harry and Hermione are foals now?

4) Hurt by Centaurs

Ok. So they called you foals once. But you're almost adults. Think harder, Hermione. Even Ron would know better. And that's just sad

5) Ministry of Magic

"What about this Room?" Harry Potter died from walking into a room full of Hippogriffs.

6) Voldemort

"You have irked me for too long. AVADA KEDAVRA!" Hmmmm. _MAYBE_ it would be cooler to give some warning. But _NO_ you just suck too much to do that.

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><p>Like I said, short chapter but I want to mention my new FanFiction. It's a StarWarsHarryPotter crossover that I made based of the 6th Star Wars movie. I, honestly, think it is at least 3 times better than this. Plz read it! It really ticks me off how I can update this story and get like 5 reviews in the next 3 hours but it's been 2 days since I posted my other FanFiction Story and NOTHING yet. It's called Wands and Lightsabers. Again, plz read it. If you don't like Star wars at least tell a friend who likes Star wars and Harry Potter if you have one. Thank you!


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